Bleed Like Me
by Barb1
Summary: After spending the summer apart believing the worst about each other Logan and Veronica attempt to reconnect.
1. Bleed Like Me

_Hey baby can you bleed like me?  
C'mon baby can you bleed like me _

You should see my scars  
You should see my scars

_--Bleed Like Me (Garbage)  
_

Logan Echolls sat on the beach with his arms around his knees, staring out into the ocean. He'd been clean and sober for about a month after spending two delving into just about anything he could get his hands on. Which, in Mexico, was quite a bit. He had been trying desperately to blot out the last year but every morning he'd still wake up with the same black thoughts swirling around his mind.

_Your father was banging your girlfriend and then murdered her. Your father tried to murder Veronica. No, not just murder her, he tried to burn her alive. _

_Veronica. _

With a deep growl he dropped his head.

"She's got to hate me."

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Veronica Mars sat on the beach with her arms around her knees, staring out into the ocean. It had been nearly three months since Logan had disappeared. She knew that if she wanted to find him she could but she didn't know if he wanted to be found. By her at least.

_You accused him of raping you. Then told him you trusted him and five minutes later bolted out of his pool house because you thought he was a video taping pervert. And that was even before you went to the police and had him arrested on suspicion of murder. _

_Logan. _

With a sigh she dropped her head.

"No wonder he hates me."

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With his eyes closed all Logan could hear was the raging surf crashing on the shore. That, and all the questions that were never silent.

_Why Lily? Had she come on to him? Possible. But didn't it matter to his dad that she was his son's girlfriend? Apparently not. _

_Would he have let me take the fall for the murder? If he was willing to murder a seventeen year old girl to keep his affair a secret would he have let his son fry to keep her murderer a secret? _

_Had his mom known? Suspected? Is that really why she killed herself?_

_How could Logan have not seen any of it? _

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"You're thinking about him again, aren't you?"

Veronica gave a start and looked up at Duncan who was standing above her, his hands in his pockets, frowning. She smiled at him.

"If you mean Ewan MacGregor you're right on the money. I think it's an injustice that he stopped taking parts that required him to get naked."

Duncan looked out at the ocean and kicked at the sand.

"You know I'm worried about him too."

_All for a witty deflection._

"Weevil said he found him on the bridge that his mother jumped off of that night." She said, resting her head on her arms. "And that was before he knew what his father had done."

Duncan was silent for a moment and then he offered her his hand.

"Come on, we can rent Trainspotting. Obi Wan is naked in that one."

She smiled and took his hand. He pulled her to her feet and she slipped her arm in his. They walked up the beach in silence.

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Logan had thought about going home. But what was there for him? His dad was out on parole until the trial started. (Where could a man as famous as Aaron Echolls hide, his lawyer had argued.) And Logan didn't think he could be in the same room with him for more then ten seconds before he bashed an ashtray into his head. There was Duncan, his best friend since kindergarten. Whose sister his dad murdered. That's a deal breaker if ever there was one. Trina? She was probably busy doing damage control so her acting career wouldn't be tarnished by daddy's unfortunate indiscretion.

He laid back in the sand and closed his eyes against the sun.

Then there was Veronica. She thought that he was capable of murder. And after the way he treated her before they got together who could blame her. He was so angry after Lily's death and so appalled that her dad almost bumbled the investigation that he took an enormous amount of pleasure in torturing her.

But the joke had been on him hadn't it? Keith Mars had been right all along and Logan was the blind idiot.

A shadow fell across Logan's eyes.

"Do you mind, Paco?" he growled. "Move, you stupid---"

He opened his eyes and found Keith Mars grinning down at him.

"What was that you were saying son?"


	2. It's all over but the crying

_Everything you think you know baby, is wrong_

_And everything you think you had baby, is gone_

_Certain things turn ugly when you think too hard_

_And nagging little thoughts_

_Change into things you can't turn off_

_Everything you think you know baby, is wrong_

_--It's all over but the crying (Garbage)_

Logan leaped up and away from Keith Mars so fast he stumbled backwards and fell on his ass.

"What are you doing here," he demanded.

"Working on my tan," Keith responded with a slightly wicked grin. "Why do you think I'm here, Logan?"

Logan stared at him, wondering vaguely if he was having a hallucinatory flashback from all the drugs he'd taken.

"I know my dad didn't hire you to find me," he replied, scrambling to his feet.

"No, no. I'm not usually too picky about my clients but even I would have to pass on taking a job from the man who put me in the hospital and tried to barbecue my daughter."

Logan looked down at his feet.

"Yeah, I'm uh, sorry about that…"

"Why? You didn't have anything to do with it." He paused for dramatic effect. "Did you?

Logan never realized how scary Veronica's dad could be. He shook his head and looked down at his feet.

"Unless you count being completely oblivious to the entirety of my existence," he replied.

Then something occurred to him and his head shot up.

"Did Veronica send you?"

"No," he said. "She doesn't know I'm here."

Logan let out a demented chuckle. _Did Veronica send you? Pathetic much? _

"So who pulled my golden ticket," he asked.

"Duncan Kane."

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"Are you feeling ok?" Duncan asked Veronica collapsed in a heap on the couch. "You seem down. Well, down-er then usual."

"Down--er?" She said, grabbing a pillow and hugging it. "Who said your daddy bought you into that AP English class?"

Duncan chuckled.

"You want to skip the movie?"

"Are you kidding? There's nothing like a movie about wild and crazy heroin addicts to snap me right out of the blues."

"You look tired. We'll try it again some other time, OK?"

Veronica eased across the couch and put her head down on the pillow.

"OK. You're too good to me," she mumbled. She closed her eyes and didn't see the way Duncan grimaced.

"Yeah, well somebody needs to be," he said quietly as he turned to go out of the door.

As soon as it closed she opened her eyes again and sat up.

"Damn," she whispered.

_I wonder if you can actually die from a never-ending stream of regret? _

Shaking her head she walked back to her bedroom to change her clothes. She peeled off her long sleeve blouse carefully. While she dug in her dresser for another shirt she glanced at the picture of she, Duncan, Lily and Logan from the homecoming dance. It use to remind her of Lily but now the dull ache she felt when she looked at it was because of Logan.

_How could it have possibly worked out? _She thought to herself, as she often did. It was the Veronica Mars regime of flushing Logan out of her systemListing the many, many reasons why Logan's leaving her high and very dry was actually a good thing._ There was not one thing going for it. His friends hated you. You hated his friends. And really, how could you have ever dated a guy who was buddies with Dick? _

_"If you have a problem with Veronica then you're pretty much dead to me."_

Veronica shook her head.

_OK, but one romantic gesture does not a relationship make. Even if it was a declaration made in front of a house full of 09ers. _

_Well this isn't having the desired effect, let's move on to reason 29: We dated in secret, and not just because you were concerned for Duncan's feelings. "Secrets are hot, too," he had said. That's all it was, lust. She was a teenage girl. She was allowed to let her hormones rule her world once in a while. _

_OK, now we're rolling, reason #30: daddy dearest. Hell he could be classed as reasons 30--80._

She heard the quick knock on the door and heard Wallace letting himself in.

"Hey girl, you ready to go?"

Veronica quickly pulled the shirt over her head and went out into the living room.

"Wallace, you don't have to drive me every time. They're only taking blood."

"I know, but--" he shrugged. "You know."

She smiled sadly at him.

"Yeah, I know."

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"What, he didn't send his personal jet?" Logan said as he and Keith Mars roared down the highway to a Jimmy Buffet song.

"Actually he did." Keith replied. "But I didn't think it was such a good idea with the press and all."

"The press." Logan nodded. "Of course. My triumphant return should get the whole media circus whipped up into yet another frenzy. They'll be thrilled. After three months their well must be coming up pretty dry these days. Glad I can keep pop in the papers."

Keith nodded but didn't say anything. Logan glanced out the window.

"So, Veronica, she's OK, right?"

"Her bruises have healed if that's what you mean."

Logan winced.

"But the rest of her isn't in such great shape."

Logan turned a stricken glance at him.

"What do you mean?"

"She's broken," Keith said flatly. "And I hope you can appreciate the weight of that statement. Last year her boyfriend dumped her, her best friend was murdered, her mother left her, and she still managed to wake up with a smile on her face every day. But now, she smiles so that I won't worry. It only makes me worry more. And she won't talk about it but I get the definite sense that you're the reason for it."

"I--I don't know why," he said. "We broke up before I left town. I figured that after about two seconds of serious contemplation she would hate me, end of story."

"I wish she hated you," Keith said bluntly. "I mean, "See, I didn't kill my ex-girlfriend" isn't exactly a ringing endorsement for the boy my daughter brings home to dinner."

He looked away from the road to give Logan a very scary look.

"I'm only telling you this so that you know what condition she's in. Whether she hates you or not you're bound to run into her with the trial starting up soon. Don't make me regret bringing you home."


	3. Happy home

_In my happy home I barely breathe_

_In my lover's arms I find relief_

_And there's a sky that's changing and a bird that sings_

_I never once in my wayward life was heading to run out_

_In my happy home I read the signs_

_In my lover's arms I move in time_

_There's no more crying and there's no more lies_

_I never once in my sweet life was waiting for desire_

_--Happy home (Garbage)_

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"Veronica, what happened to you?" Logan asked, blinking at her face, bruised and scratched.

"It doesn't matter," she said, looking away from him.

"Of course it matters," he said, gently taking her face in his hands and directing her gaze back to his. And then the most surprising thing happened; she burst into tears.

"I'm so sorry," Veronica whispered. "I'm so sorry that I accused you of killing Lily. I know you didn't do it. I'm so sorry about---"

"Hey," he said, ignoring the pounding in his head. "It's ok. I know you were just trying to get to the truth. I just wish I didn't give you so much reason to think I'd be capable of it."

She put her hands over his and shook her head.

"No! I never wanted to believe you did it. But when your alibi didn't check out---"

She looked so miserable he couldn't help himself. He had to wipe it away. He leaned in and kissed her. He could taste the salt from her tears as he gently urged her mouth open. She circled his neck with her arms and he felt her pull him down on top of her.

"Duncan?"

Logan twitched.

_Duncan!_

"This is Keith Mars."

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Logan's eyes popped open and he turned to see the glow of Keith Mar's cell phone in the darkness of the car.

"I just wanted to let you know that I picked up that package you ordered. Please let me know where you want me to deliver it." Keith hung up and turned and saw Logan's expression. "Bad dream?"

Logan ran a hand over his face. "You have no idea."

"Well that was the third time I called Duncan and he's not answering. I'm afraid I'm left with only one alternative."

Keith brought the car to a stop and Logan looked out the window and shot up in his seat.

"You're kidding right" he said, looking at the menacing house he used to call home. "This is a sick joke to get back at me for whatever you think I did to Veronica. Well I applaud your twisted sense of humor, now kindly get me the hell out of here."

"I'm sorry, son, but you're still a minor and he is your father."

Logan shot Keith a look. "And what would the state say about turning over said minor to the custody of a murderer? That's gotta be classified as child abuse."

"He hasn't been convicted yet."

Logan hit the dashboard after ever word. "The legal system in this country should be outlawed."

Then he pushed open the car door and leaped out of the car. He turned back to Keith.

"Well thanks for all the chuckles. See you in court."

"Logan," Keith said sympathetically. "I'd let you crash at my place but…"

"Apple. Tree. Got it."

"I was thinking of Veronica."

Logan slammed the car door shut.

"So was I," he replied.

Logan couldn't stand the pity he saw on Keith Mars' face so he turned back toward the house. It was dark and about as inviting as the Psycho house. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked toward it. He supposed there were a few things he and his old man could chat about.

As per usual, he walked through the back. He could see that the kitchen and the living room were lit up. He reached for the door and yanked it open.

"Here's Johnny!" He announced.

Aaron Echolls was sitting on the couch, watching news coverage of his impending trial. He whirled around at the sound of his son's voice and jumped to his feet when he saw him.

"Logan! Thank God." He said, rushing to hug his long lost son. But Logan side stepped him and pointed at the tv.

"This is the most press you've gotten in a decade, you must be so proud."

"Logan…."

"No, please, continue watching. It's riveting television. I know I'm enthralled. I must have seen that pool house video of you and Lily a dozen times, with the gray boxes in place, of course. Don't want to scandalize the kiddies."

"Logan, I know how much my relationship with Lily must have hurt you…."

"Not nearly as much as you killing her did."

Aaron clenched his fist and then let it go.

_You don't scare me anymore old man. You already took everything away from me. _

"Logan, you can't really believe I did all the things they say I did, do you?"

"No, I just took off so I could find the _real_ killer. By the way I ran into OJ, he wants to hit a couple of rounds of golf with you."

"You're really going to take the word of your girlfriend and her pathetic father over mine?"

"My ex-girlfriend, thanks to you. But maybe that's a good thing considering how you 'handled' my last one." He stalked passed Aaron. "But don't worry, I'm just here to pick up a few things and then you won't have to concern yourself with me and my---"

Aaron reached out and snagged Logan's arm. His grip was even stronger then usual.

"You're not going anywhere."

Logan felt his heart hammering in his chest, belts and bruises playing through his memory.

Aaron smiled and made his tone easy going but his grip didn't loosen at all. Logan could already feel the finger marks bruising into his skin. "I can't let you leave, Logan, you're my son."

"I've been gone for three months why---" then it dawned on him. "It'll look better for your case if I'm living here."

"Yes, my lawyers said with us living under the same roof it would--"

"Look like I didn't believe you killed Lily even if you were fucking her."

"Logan, you need to get over this anger you have and think clearly--"

Logan yanked on his arm but his father was still too strong for him.

"My anger! I'm not the one that bashed in Lily's head and tried to set Veronica on fire!"

Aaron smacked Logan so hard the cracking sound it made echoed in the room. Then he pulled Logan closer to him and spoke in a deadly whisper.

"You need to stop talking that way son." He let him go with a shove that knocked Logan into the back of the couch. He hit it with the small of his back and Logan bit his lip so as to not to shout as the pain shot through him. Aaron started stalking around the room. "And even if any of what I'm charged with were true, do you really think I'm going to get convicted?" He let out a laugh disguised as a bark. "Men like me don't get convicted, son. Look at Michael Jackson, OJ Simpson, Robert Blake."

Logan rubbed his arm where Aaron had dug his fingers into him.

"They weren't caught on videotape."

"Neither was I. No murders anyway. Oh sure, I did have that unfortunate relationship with Lily but she came on to me. And trust me, my lawyers already have a long list of Lily's 'suitors' willing to testify to her predatory methods."

Logan went very still.

"And really, who could blame my little lapse in judgment when I was dealing with an unstable wife at home."

Logan swung before he even realized it and crossed his father's jaw with a right hook.

"Don't you dare drag my mother into this cesspool," he shouted. "The only crazy thing she ever did was stay with you!"

Aaron looked stunned as he lifted his hand to his mouth and looked at the blood seeping out of his cracked lip. Logan turned away from him, breathing hard.

"Your mother is gone Logan. Her reputation doesn't mean anything to her now. Do you really want to lose another parent?"

Logan looked back at his father.

"Yeah, I really do."

Aaron stalked over to Logan, who back pedaled as fast as he could until his back hit the fireplace.

"Can you imagine what life will be like without me," his father demanded. "Your mother's $100,000 will run out pretty quickly if I'm not supporting you. And from what I understand you used up a big chunk already while you were in Mexico."

"While I----you knew where I was?"

Aaron put his hand next to Logan's head, pinning him against the wall.

"I was giving you some space. Not many fathers would be so understanding."

Logan swallowed hard. "Yeah, you're a prince."

"Daddy?"

Aaron turned around at the sound of Trina's voice and smiled.

"Trina! Look who's home!" Aaron said, patting Logan on the shoulder.

"Daddy, what happened to your lip?"

Aaron chuckled as he rubbed his lip with the back of his hand.

"Oh, must have bitten my lip." He walked over and put his arm around Trina's shoulders. "Well say hi to your brother."

"Hi little brother," Trina said. "Way to go, deserting daddy in his hour of need."

"Now Trina, don't be like that. Logan just needed time to work things out for himself. In fact we were just discussing the finer points of my case. I was telling him how all the evidence against me was circumstantial. And thanks to the cover up that the Kane's did there is not one single piece of evidence linking me, or whoever committed the crime, to the scene of Lily's murder." He gave Logan a significant look. "Really the only thing the prosecution has going for it is the testimony of Veronica Mars."

Logan felt his stomach twist into a knot. He shook his head. He scrambled out of the room and into the hallway. He yanked open the end table drawer by the front door and found his keys were still there. He grabbed them and pulled open the front door, running to his car.

He had been wrong. His dad could still scare the shit out of him.

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Author's note: Thanks to everyone who has been reviewing! I'm glad you're enjoying it so far. This chapter took a bit of a dark turn but things should lighten up a little next time.


	4. Run Baby Run

_Life can be so cruel_

_Don't it astound you?_

_So when nothing seems too certain or safe_

_Let it burn through you_

_You can keep it pure on the inside_

_And you know what you believe to be right_

_So you're not going to crack_

_No you're never gonna crack_

_--Run baby run (Garbage)_

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She could smell the alcohol on his breath when his mouth closed over hers. She could taste it when he slipped his tongue in her mouth.

She pushed her hand into his hair and eased him back onto her waterbed. It shifted and rolled beneath them. She started pushing his shirt off his shoulders when he pulled away from her. She tried to follow him with her mouth but he grinned and turned away.

"Don't stop," she said in frustration.

He looked down at her and smiled appreciatively.

"I love you Veronica Mars."

She blinked at him.

"What?"

He leaned down and started to nip at her ear. "I love you," he whispered.

Then he pulled back and looked at her. "Did you say don't stop?"

"Veronica?"

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Veronica opened her eyes. Wallace was nudging her in the ribs.

"Your dad is home."

"Oh," Veronica said, rubbing her eyes quickly. She sat up and then grabbed a handful of popcorn from the bowl in Wallace's lap. She was munching on it and watching the movie on the TV avidly when her dad walked in.

"Hey, beautiful," he said, then nodded at her companion. "Wallace."

"Hey dad," Veronica said. "Did you catch the bad guy?"

"I always get my man," he replied, throwing his keys on the counter so as not to meet her eyes. He hadn't told Veronica who he was going after and he wasn't sure if he should. Then he caught sight of something on the counter. "Hey, whose cell phone is this?"

Veronica looked away from the TV. "Oh, it must be Duncan's."

_Well that explains why he wouldn't return my calls._

"Yeah," Wallace added. "He must be a popular boy because that thing was ringing off the hook. I finally had to shut it off."

Keith looked over at Wallace and saw that he was looking at him curiously. Keith turned the phone over and noted it had caller ID. If Wallace picked it up when it was ringing the words 'Keith Mars' probably blinked up at him. From the way Wallace was eyeballing him he figured that was exactly what happened.

"So who's up for Mexican," he asked cheerily.

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Logan screeched to a stop in front of Veronica's apartment building. He left the key in the ignition and the door open as he launched himself out of the car. He took the steps two at a time and reached her door gasping for breath. He was about to pound on the door when he heard something that made him stop.

It was her voice.

"Mexican? Again? Didn't we just have that before you left?"

"I'm in the mood for it," Keith replied.

Logan stood motionless, just listening to her speak.

"So I take it you weren't tracking your fugitive down in China," she replied.

_Fugitive?_

"I don't make my food choices based on where I've been, Veronica."

"Really? So it was a total coincidence that you wanted Cuban food after you brought Duncan home and you wanted nothing but buffets when you got back from Vegas?"

"Absolutely."

Logan slowly backed away from the door. He went back to his car and pulled down the street where he could still see the building but where he wasn't in plain sight.

Logan was never one to back away from confrontations. In fact he usually thrived on them. But when he'd heard Veronica's voice it reminded him that she was angry with him. That she probably hated him. And the thought of her looking at him with loathing was not something he could stand. At least not right now. He'd been beat up enough this evening. He rubbed his jaw where his dad had hit him.

He needed some time to work out a game plan. Veronica's dad was home so she was safe for the time being. And he would sit there and watch the building all night if he had to. Veronica had endured all the damage from his father that she was going to have to.

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He had never really experienced bliss before. Lust, definitely. Sex, absolutely. But never bliss.

He ran his fingers over her skin and watched with immense satisfaction as she closed her eyes and caught her breath.

"Are you sure about this," he asked.

She nodded, breathing too rapidly to actually speak. He leaned down and kissed her while he reached out to the nightstand for his wallet. He touched it with his fingertips and it flipped off the table and fumbled to the floor.

"Logan…." She said with an urgency he recognized.

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Logan woke up abruptly and rather uncomfortably. He squinted in the intense sunlight.

"Damn it," he said. "Curse my fertile imagination."

He thumped his head on the headrest. _Come on, distract yourself_.

"A--Alabama. B--Barbados. C--Cuba. D--Delaware…"

He stopped when he saw Veronica emerge from her building with her dad and Wallace.

_Wallace? He spent the night?_

Logan felt something in the pit of his stomach squirm.

_It's been three months, you dweeb. Never thought she'd move on? And how very progressive of ol' Keith…._

Then a car pulled up in front of them. A woman emerged and from the way she walked over to Wallace and hugged him Logan assumed it was his mom.

_Oh but what is this….._

Then she walked over and gave Keith Mars a kiss. And not a peck on the cheek either.

_Well someone was keeping the home fires burning while you were in Mexico you dog._

Logan instantly started feeling better. After all, Veronica wouldn't have hooked up with the equivalent of her brother would she? They all climbed into the car and Logan started his engine to follow them. He had formulated a plan in the night, but he knew he had to speak to Veronica first. Alone.

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_OK, you are now officially a stalker. _

_Apple. Tree. Daddy would be so proud. _

Logan put his head on the steering wheel and thumped his head. He'd followed them to breakfast at IHOP. (That Rooty Tooty breakfast had looked scrumptious. Or perhaps it was the fact he hadn't eaten in a day or two) Then to a walk on the beach. Then to an arts and crafts fair and then to window shopping on the boardwalk.

Finally Veronica looked at her watch and said something to her companions and Logan almost did a jig. They went back to the apartment building. Wallace and his mother dropped Veronica and her dad off on the sidewalk. Keith kissed his daughter goodbye and headed to the office, Logan assumed. He was waiting for Veronica to go inside so he could follow her but she was standing on the sidewalk, digging for her keys or something. Then Keith pulled away and she pulled out her keys like she had them in her hand the entire time and she walked over to a car. Her car, Logan realized.

_That's right, she ran her last one into a tree to get away from daddy dearest._

The thought gave him a chill. But he shook it off and followed Veronica as she pulled away. He did his best to keep his distance but he was driving a bright yellow Xterra. He couldn't believe she hadn't spotted him already. But she'd been distracted all day from the looks of it.

She's broken, her father had said. _And you helped break her….._

Logan was distracted himself with these thoughts that he didn't realize at first she'd pulled into a hospital parking lot. He watched her park and climb out of her car. He went looking for his own space but couldn't find one quick enough. She was headed for the doors and he was going to lose her if she went inside. So he parked under the sign that read "Physician parking only".

"Ticket me," he mumbled as he climbed out and ran after Veronica.

Fortunately the waiting room was packed and she was at the front counter checking in when he entered. He grabbed a magazine and sat down. He could confront her now. She wasn't surrounded by her posse but he was unsettled by the fact that she was at a hospital.

_What if that bastard did something that permanently damaged her?_

He looked over the magazine and watched her walk in the door marked "lab". He dropped the magazine and walked to the counter.

"Excuse me, I need to use the bathroom, there's one back there isn't there?"

The receptionist nodded. "Oh, but are you giving a urine sample today?"

_Oh the many responses I have for that._

But he smiled. "I don't think so."

She handed him a cup.

"Well why don't you fill this up just in case?"

Logan took the cup and smiled.

"Well why not?"

He put the cup in his shirt pocket, patted it and walked into the lab.

"Hi Veronica," he heard someone say from a room off to the right. A room conveniently placed next to the bathroom. He went inside but left the door open a crack and listened.

"Hi Ulysses," she said wearily. "No offense, but I'm really hoping this is the last time I ever have to see you again."

He chuckled.

"Well your gonadotropin levels looked good last time so this is probably it."

"Thank God," she replied. "Because I'm starting to look like a drug addict."

"Blood draws every day will do that to you."

_Gonadotropin levels? Blood draws everyday? What the hell was wrong with her?_

Logan watched her leave. He followed her out, tossing the empty urine cup back at the receptionist. He pulled out his phone and dialed his doctor. He was in his car by the time they got him on the phone. The doctor hadn't even finished saying hello when Logan snapped: "What the hell are gonadotropin levels and why would someone need them checked?"

The doctor paused.

"You're obviously not asking on your own behalf," he replied.

"No I'm not. Why?"

"Because we monitor gonadotropin levels on pregnant women."


	5. Metal Heart

_I wish I had a metal heart_

_I could cross the line_

_I wish that I was half as good_

_As you think I am_

_I want to be dependable_

_I want to be courageous and good_

_I want to be faithful so that I can be heroic and true_

_I want to be a friend you can rely on_

_You can lean on and trust_

_I want to understand so I can forgive_

_And be willing to love_

_--Metal Heart (Garbage)_

Under any other circumstances Logan would have been stunned when he knocked on the door and Wallace's hot mom answered. As it was, he simply blinked. He was too numb to do anything else.

_Veronica is pregnant. _

"Yes," she asked.

_Oh that's right, you don't know that I spent half the morning following you. _

"I'm here about renting the room," he said.

"Oh,"she said and he could tell that she was examining his bruised and slightly swollen jaw. She probably had some issues with the clothes he'd been wearing for a couple of days and the black circles under his eyes as well. "Well, let me show it to you."

She turned and he followed her inside. The tv in the living room was on and a news report was interrupting the regularly scheduled program.

_That was fast._

She led him out back and opened the door to the room she had for rent. She was talking about utilities, and rent and first month's this and last month's that. He was only half listening.

_Veronica is pregnant. _

He walked in and looked around the small room. The interior of his car was bigger.

"It's perfect," he said.

"How old are you exactly," she asked.

"Seventeen," he answered automatically.

"And your parents are OK with you living on your own?"

"My mom is dead," he said. "And my dad's in prison. Or he will be soon."

_Yeah, she's going to rent the place to you now._

"But I'm coming into some money so the rent shouldn't be a problem," he said quickly.

She was studying him now.

_Get use to it, pal, you're a freak show. _

"What's your name?"

He took a deep breath. "Logan. Logan Echolls."

She caught her breath and her eyes flickered to his jaw again.

"Oh," she mumbled. Fortunately that's when Wallace came up behind her and made things really uncomfortable.

"Hey, mom, I--" He stopped as soon as he saw Logan and his eyes instantly narrowed. "What are you doing here?"

"He's here about renting the room," his mom said. "You know Logan from school don't you?"

Wallace looked like he really had something to say but he stopped himself. He glanced at Logan's jaw and then at his own feet.

"He's a friend of Veronica's," he mumbled.

"Oh," she instantly brightened. "Well I certainly trust Veronica's judgement," she said giving Wallace a squeeze. "The room's yours if you want it."

Logan nodded, looking down at his shoes, unable to stand the pity he saw from the two people in front of him.

"That'd be great."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

When Duncan walked into Mars Investigation he found Keith Mars with his feet up on his desk, talking on the phone.

"Larry King? Yeah, I could do that." He put his feet back on the floor and started digging in his desk drawer. "Listen, I gotta go. Let me know the details when you get them. Thanks."

He hung up and pulled Duncan's cell phone out of his drawer.

"Glad to see you. I figured my toes would get frostbitten in hell before Celeste actually gave you my message." He tossed the cell phone to Duncan. "But seeing as your phone was at my house I had little choice."

The last thing Duncan wanted to do was talk about his parents. Things hadn't exactly been OK between them since they covered up the murder they thought he committed.

"So you found him."

"That I did. You haven't heard from him?"

"No. He's not here?"

Keith frowned slightly.

"I dropped him off at his house last night."

Duncan's head shot up. "His house? You're kidding right?"

"I use to be the sheriff, Duncan. He's a minor. Besides, I figured he'd just grab his car and get out of there. Of course, I figured he would have called you by now too."

Duncan ran down the messages on his phone. Not one from Logan.

"He's probably at a hotel somewhere," Keith said, already opening up his laptop. "You don't think he would have actually confronted his father do you?"

"Have you ever met Logan," Duncan asked.

Keith started up his internet provider. His server popped up with the lead news story of the hour.

"Oh Christ almighty," he whispered.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Veronica grinned at her friends. Meg was holding up a slinky black dress in front of a horrified Mac.

"You said anything in black," Meg said.

"I didn't say _anything_ in black," Mac said, pushing the dress away and walking into the closet. "And do you honestly think I'd fit into anything you own? You're like Barbie. No real girl has your dimensions."

Meg followed her into the closet, still clutching the dress. Veronica smiled and fell back onto the bed. She had been annoyed at the beginning. After the whole Aaron Echolls affair (and the whole Logan Echolls affair) she found herself suddenly little miss popular. If Wallace wasn't showing up with take-out, Duncan was on her doorstep with a rented movie. Even Weevil had found her a curiously good deal on a "pre owned" car (all the proper paperwork in place of course). And every weekend Meg and/or Mac was dragging her somewhere until finally they united and she found that she had plans every Saturday whether she liked it or not.

It had annoyed the hell out of her at first. It was like everyone was afraid she'd break. And if one of them wasn't with her 24/7 they'd find her on a bridge somewhere, dancing on the railing. For a girl who had spent the better part of a year alone and friendless it was a difficult adjustment to make. Not that she had much choice. So she ended up just going with it. After all, there were worse things then having friends right?

Mac stomped out of the closet.

"What's wrong with the clothes that I have on," she grumbled. "And why do we have to go dancing anyway?"

"Because we went to that comic book convention that you wanted us to go to last week," Meg said with a bright smile, presenting the black dress once more.

"But that was cool," Mac said, pushing the dress away yet again.

Veronica laughed as she pulled out her ringing cell phone from her pocket. She was about to answer it when Meg reached out and snatched it out of her hands.

"What did you promise, Veronica Mars?" She said, waving the cell in front of her.

"No work tonight but what if---"

Meg tossed the phone to Mac who popped it open and started tapping with glee.

"No "what ifs". We're going to have fun tonight. Don't worry, the world will not fall apart if you're not available for the evening."

Mac tossed Veronica's phone back to her and found that she'd somehow locked her out of her own cell phone. Sighing, she put it back in her pocket. Meg smiled and grabbed her hands. "Now what can we find for you to wear?"

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Logan was exhausted but he couldn't fall asleep if his life depended on it. He'd spent most of his day being humiliated, poked, prodded, and questioned and yet there was only one place his mind kept returning to.

_Veronica is pregnant. _

He wanted to shut it off but it wouldn't go away.

_Veronica is pregnant. _

_Well what did you expect you loser? You broke up with her and then you left town. _

_She didn't waste any time though did she? So whose was it? Wallace? Duncan? Weevil? So many to choose from. Maybe she was more like Lily then he realized. Maybe it was Duncan's and that's why he brought him back. He wanted Logan to be the godfather! What a way to say "thanks for your dirtbag dad murdering my sister". A gift that keeps on giving. _

His door opened and Logan opened one eye. Wallace was standing in the door.

"I didn't realize I got turn down service with my stay."

"I want you to stay away from her," Wallace said, crossing his arms like he was afraid of what he might do with them.

"Or what?" Logan almost laughed. "You'll meet me at sunset in the town square?"

"I remember what you use to be even if she doesn't."

Logan sat up.

"What?"

"All she remembers is the guy whose mom threw herself off a bridge. The guy who sobbed all over her in that hotel lobby." Logan felt his anger cut through the numb fog that had been wrapped around him. "_I_ remember the other guy. The one who made slurs about her mom. The one who broke the headlights out of her car. The one who blew her a kiss when she was arrested for making false ID's."

Some of his anger deflated. "That was a long time ago, man. Besides, she's moved on." He fell back on the bed again. "Spectacularly."

"You would think that, wouldn't you?"

Logan's head shot up.

"Excuse me?"

Wallace opened his mouth. Again he really wanted to speak but was fighting it. Then his cell phone went off and ended his struggle. He turned and walked away as he dug his phone out of his pocket.

Logan followed him. He wasn't just going to make a statement like that and leave him hanging.

"I have no idea where that is," Wallace was saying into the phone. "Yeah I'll mapquest it. Keep outta trouble until I get there."

He turned and found Logan almost on top of him.

"That Veronica?"

"You think I'm going to tell you?" Wallace replied, shaking his head and heading inside his house.

_Yeah, it was Veronica._

He had given up on the idea of Veronica Mars. He'd spent the day trying to let her go. But Wallace had just given him the one thing he certainly hadn't intended. Hope.

_Maybe it's time for that talk now after all._

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Author's note: Seriously, Logan will finally catch up with Veronica in the next chapter.

And in case anyone was wondering all the music is from the latest Garbage CD Bleed Like Me. (which I highly recommend by the way) The song Bad Boyfriend was in Leave it to Beaver and kinda inspired this story.

And finally, Jen, I had trouble with Keith dropping Logan off at the house too but I couldn't work out how else to get him there. I really was going to add the line from Keith about how he didn't think Logan would stay at the house before you mentioned it but good call anyway. Thanks for keeping me honest.


	6. Boys Wanna Fight

_What a mess we've made_

_It's ridiculous _

_The whole world's a stage of complete chaos_

_It gets so funny that we get confused_

_We don't know where to turn cause we've all been used_

_Let's get loaded (oh let's be selfish)_

_Let's get wasted (and lose our senses)_

_Let's get toasted (don't educate us)_

_Let's get hammered (yeah paralyze us)_

_Let's forget it (don't count on all)_

_The boys wanna fight_

_But the girls are happy to dance all night_

_--The boys wanna fight (Garbage)_

Logan leaned against his car with his arms crossed, contemplating his next move. Periodically there would be a sudden burst of music when the door to the club opened and every time he tensed up, expecting Veronica to emerge.

_She's like five feet tall, dude, why are you so scared?_

_Because she has the power to shred you. Because she probably hates you. Because she's pregnant with someone else's baby. There is no way this is going to come out well for you. _

He rubbed his forehead.

"So are you going to go in or just stare at the door all night?"

Logan gave a start and looked over and found Duncan standing three feet away from him.

"How'd you find me?"

"Wallace called me. He says you owe him four tires." Duncan walked over and leaned on the car beside him. "And you're evicted."

Logan laughed. "Homeless once more. I tell you, I don't think I'm cut out for a life less privileged."

Duncan nodded and then looked down and kicked at the ground. Logan knew what was coming next and it made all of his muscles pull tight under his skin.

"You OK?" Duncan asked.

_And so it begins. The pity party._

"As right as rain in the rainforest."

Duncan looked up at him. "I saw the news story."

"You and half the English speaking world by now, what makes you so special?"

Duncan could hardly blame Logan for being defensive. He knew the "I don't want to talk about it" armor would go up before he asked the question. Still, it seemed easier then asking the next inevitable one.

"So what are you doing here?"

_And so it begins. _

Logan looked back at the club. "Waiting for my girl."

He felt Duncan tense up next to him. He glanced over at him.

"What makes you think she's still your girl?"

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"What should we toast to?" Meg asked, raising her margarita glass, slopping half of it over the sides.

"I think "toasted" is more accurate," Veronica laughed.

"To men, boys, the male population in general," Meg decided. "Can't live with them. Can't shoot them."

Mac lifted her glass. "Where are all the good men dead, in the heart or in the head?"

Meg and Veronica glanced at one another and said simultaneously: "In the heart."

Veronica lifted her glass: "Men suck."

They all nodded, clinked glasses, and each took a drink.

Veronica observed that Meg was getting all moony eyed again. If possible, she got even more romantic and sweeter when she was drunk. She looked up at Veronica and smiled dreamily.

"He still loves you, you know."

Veronica looked into her drink. She contemplated bringing up the fact that Mac was the one that concocted the whole Purity Test that caused Meg such grief just to change the subject but she couldn't bring herself to throw poor Mac under that bus just to get out of a difficult conversation.

"It's all right," Meg said, bobbing her head. "I'm totally OK with it." She hiccuped. "Mostly."

Veronica shifted in her seat and then threw back her drink while she thought back to the beginning of the summer. It had taken Duncan almost three weeks to finally bring it up. It still hadn't been long enough as far as Veronica was concerned.

_"You know, I've been thinking about us," he said. _

_"I knew this movie and cheese corn came with a price," she laughed, trying desperately to deflect the inevitable. _

_"Have you thought about it," he asked. "About us, you know…"_

_"Of course I have Duncan," she sighed. "But--"_

_"But?" He grabbed one of her hands and skimmed the top of it with his thumb. She felt a familiar quiver go up her arm. "Veronica, the only reason we broke up--"_

_"The only reason you dumped me," she corrected. _

_"--was because I thought you were my sister. And even with that big, ugly, unnatural thing in the middle of us I still couldn't stop myself from being in love with you."_

_She looked up into his big blue eyes and couldn't deny how warm they still made her feel. _

_"We were great together," he whispered, lowering his head. "Remember?"_

_"Uh, huh," she sighed as his lips brushed over hers. _

"No, he doesn't," Veronica said to Meg. "He's in love with what we used to be. I was too, for a long time. But it's not us any more. Duncan knows that."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Logan chuckled but there was no mirth at all to his laughter.

"So I was right. You brought me back to--what? Bear witness to you and Veronica's happily ever after?"

"No," Duncan said, pushing himself away from the car and facing Logan. "I just think you have a lot of nerve calling her your girl after what you did to her."

"What I did to her? She had me arrested for murder! I had a right to be peeved don't you think?"

"And that's how you justify it?" Duncan shouted, his fist clenched. "She doesn't think I know what happened but I do. I know how you treated her."

Logan remembered that last day on the beach when he confronted Veronica about having him arrested. He had been pretty brutal to her but Duncan's reaction still seemed a bit extreme.

"And how did I treat her?"

"Like dirt! You treated her like dirt." Duncan shouted. And then he shook his head. "And you know what the real kicker is? It's you she still wants."

_And now we get to the heart of the matter._

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Well who needs guys anyway?" Mac said, trying to cut through the sudden silence at their table.

"Well we do if we want to get home," Veronica said, pushing her sleeve up to look at her watch. "We called Wallace like half an hour ago. By the time he gets here we'll be sober enough to drive ourselves."

"Well let's not let that happen," Meg said. She reached over for the pitcher of drinks then she stopped and reached out and grabbed Veronica's arm. "My God, Veronica, what have you been doing to yourself?"

Veronica tried yanking her arm back but Meg was surprisingly strong.

"It's--it's---" and maybe if she wasn't feeling quite so lightheaded she would have come up with something but the mixture of the blood draw and the alcohol was making her head spin. And she was tired. Tired of keeping so many secrets. So she told them.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Logan blinked at Duncan.

_It's you she wants?_

Duncan shoved him in the chest and he stumbled back.

"What are you talking about," Logan said. "You're the one she's been with all summer."

Duncan shook his head. "In body, but definitely not in spirit."

_In body…_

Logan hauled off and nailed Duncan in the jaw. Duncan staggered back but got his footing again almost immediately. He didn't waste any time launching himself forward and tackling Logan to the ground.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Oh my God," Meg whispered. "How could he do that to you?"

Veronica shrugged, trying to hold back tears. "I accused him of murder. Then I had his dad arrested. Let's face it, on a scale of one to ten on the girlfriend scale my hero is zero."

"His dad tried to kill you," Mac cried. "He murdered Lily Kane. Did he expect you to overlook those small facts because you were dating?"

Veronica shook her head. "Don't get me wrong. He's a jerk. He takes jerk to all new levels of--jerkdom."

"But he's the jerk you're in love with," Meg sighed.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Logan had had one of the most humiliating days of his life. But getting his ass kicked by Duncan Kane really was the topper. Under most circumstances Logan would have been able to take Duncan easily but he was so damn exhausted. And Duncan had definitely had his Wheeties that morning because he had Logan pinned to the ground, one hand wrapped around his throat and the other one pulled back to pummel him with. But then he stopped. Logan would have liked to think it was because he came to his senses but he got the disconcerting feeling it was because Duncan caught sight of the bruises already on his jaw.

Duncan stood up and backed off and it made Logan that much more furious.

"What's the matter," he shouted, scrambling to his feet. "Feeling sorry for the abuse victim? Why not finish what daddy started? You couldn't do much worse!"

Duncan just shook his head and turned around and walked away.

"The little gray boxes on the news don't do me any good when half the town already knows what you look like, right?" He shouted after Duncan's departing back.

Logan turned and kicked the nearest car. He really, really wanted to punch something.

And that's when Veronica, Meg and Mac stumbled out of the nightclub. They were singing spectacularly off key.

"Everybody have fun tonight! Everybody wang chung tonight!"

_They are making fun of me. How perfect._

Veronica was having a hard time walking with both Mac and Meg's arms wrapped around her shoulders. She stumbled with a laugh but when she looked up she choked on it.

Logan was standing in front of her looking exactly as she pictured he would. Mad as hell.

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Author's note: I'm sorry, I know I promised Veronica and Logan would finally touch base and you can't say I lied exactly, they actually see each other. I had planned to put their first meeting in this chapter but every thing leading up to it took more time then I originally planned. They will finally have a chat in the next chapter.


	7. Why do you love me?

_You're not some baby boy_

_Why you acting so surprised_

_You're sick of all the rules_

_Well I'm sick of all the lies_

_Now I've held back a wealth of shit_

_I think I'm gonna choke_

_I'm standing in the shadows_

_With the words stuck in my throat_

_--Why do you love me (Garbage)_

Logan stood staring at her, his mouth slightly open, his fists clenched. He looked angrier then she'd ever seen him. And she'd seen him angry plenty of times.

"You're drunk!" Logan shouted.

Veronica blinked.

_We have a murder, a suicide, a best friend, a girlfriend, a homicidal father and a blank three months between us and you want to discuss my drinking habits?_

The only thing that stunned Veronica more was watching Meg walk purposefully over to him and slap him with every ounce of strength that she had in her tiny frame.

"You bastard!"

Logan gaped at her.

"Do I have a "punch me" sign on my back," he asked, trying to grab for Meg's arms as she lunged at him again.

Suddenly he found himself surrounded by two extremely pissed off girls. They were shouting and cursing at him like two hissing cats. They were shouting so loudly that they were overlapping each other. He had no idea what they were saying except that they weren't applying for his fanclub.

"Hey!" He heard someone shout and he saw Duncan sprinting toward them.

_Well this is going to hell faster then expected. _

Logan looked at Veronica who was standing back, staring at him, stunned. Left without anything else to do, he pushed passed her friends and reached out and grabbed her by the arm.

"Come on," he said.

"I don't think so," she said, pulling back away from him.

"I'm sorry, did you think I was asking?" He lifted her up like he had in pretty much every make out session they'd ever had. Only this time she wasn't a willing participant.

"Logan!"

She tried to wrestle away from him but she was still a featherweight. He carted her over to his car, ripped open the driver's door and shoved her inside.

"Logan, what the hell are you doing?" Duncan shouted, coming to a stop next to Meg and Mac who were just staring open mouthed at him.

"Don't worry, Duncan, I'll return them to you safe and sound." He climbed in after Veronica and pushed her aside with his hip when she tried to crawl over him. "Quite frankly, dude, I'd be more worried about me."

Then he started the engine with a grinding noise and peeled out of the parking lot.

Duncan stared after him, his mouth hanging open. He had no idea what to do. Call the cops, call Keith? He looked a Mac.

"Did he say "them"?"

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Veronica reached over and tried the door handle. It was locked. She scrambled for the lock but it wouldn't move. She looked at Logan.

"Child safety locks," he said with a demented sort of grin. "Poetic isn't it?"

"Logan, let me out of here!"

"Put your seat belt on," he said, pulling onto the freeway.

"Go to hell."

He looked over at her and glanced down at her stomach.

"Please," he said and returned his eyes to the road.

_Oh God…_

She stared at him a moment longer and pulled her seatbelt over her shoulder. She snapped it into place and looked out the windshield.

"Where are we going," she asked.

"I have no idea."

Veronica sat silently in her seat after that, her mind racing.

_How long has he been back? Exactly what does he know?_

She glanced at him again.

_Well, of all the ways you imagined seeing him again this certainly wasn't one of them. _

He pulled off the freeway. She looked out the window and saw that he was taking them onto a crushingly dark mountain road. Veronica sat up straighter in her seat.

_"I was hoping it was you," she said to a very disgruntled Weevil. _

_"Yeah, that's what all the ladies say." He stepped aside and let one of his buddies shove an extremely drunk Logan into her apartment. _

_"Where'd you find him," she asked. _

_"Coronado bridge. Dancing with the devil, if you ask me. He was spoiling for a fight. You're lucky I owe you or I would have given him one. Either way, he was showing definite suicidal tendencies."_

"Where are we going, Logan," she asked again.

He glanced over at her. Her eyes were wide and she was gripping the armrest with white knuckles.

"What? You think we're going over the side?" He was joking but the way her eyes got even bigger he realized she was genuinely afraid. "Jesus, Veronica, do you really think I'd--"

_Of course she does. Like father like son. _

He swore under his breath and pulled over to the side of the road. He unlocked the door and she pushed herself out of the passenger door. Logan climbed out and walked around to her side. She was gulping in air like she had been suffocating.

"Veronica--"

"I'm sorry," she said. "But I've had my fill of being shanghaied in cars by members of the Echolls family."

Logan stopped cold.

_You fucking idiot. _

"The beach," he blurted. "I was taking us to the beach."

He made a sweeping gesture and she realized they were on a cliff overlooking the ocean. She wasn't sure if it was the guilt rolling through her stomach or the last margarita but she turned and promptly threw up in a nearby bush.

Logan stepped back and walked over to the guardrail.

_You literally made her sick. _

He listened to her retch for a few minutes before she finally stumbled back over to him. He turned around and leaned against the rail. She still looked a little green and utterly miserable.

"This isn't exactly how I pictured this going," he said.

"How did you picture it," she asked ferociously.

He shook his head and started for his car.

"This was obviously a mistake. I'll take you home."

When he didn't hear her footsteps he turned and found she hadn't moved. Instead she was standing in the same spot, arms crossed.

"What? Would you prefer me to call Duncan so he can take you home on his white steed?"

"Did it ever occur to you that maybe I had a few things to say to you?"

"Oh why not?" He spread his arms. "It's been my day to take a beating. Have at it."

Veronica was trembling she was so angry.

"Where the hell do you get off being the victim in this scenario?"

"Where the hell do you," he demanded.

Her eyes were burning with furious tears.

"Oh how about starting with your going away present? Why don't we start off there?"

"That day on the beach I was angry, all right? I'm sorry. I'm sorry I told you to stick your head in an oven. I'm sorry I called you a cold hearted bitch. But I think getting knocked up while I was away is already a hell of a way to stick it to me don't you think?"

Her mouth fell open.

"Yeah, I know about the bundle of joy Veronica. I must say I didn't think of you as the type who would drink herself into a blind stupor while pregnant. Does Duncan know about your little drinking problem?"

"Does Duncan---" she sputtered.

He saw the disbelief on her face and the truth splashed him in the face like ice water. The baby wasn't Duncan's. That made him even angrier. Duncan he could understand. He hated the idea with a fiery passion, but he could understand it. But if she just hooked up with some random guy…

"Oh, my mistake," he said in a deadly whisper. "Weevil? Wallace? Did you even get his name?"

She lunged out and pushed him so hard that he slammed into the Xterra. He didn't realize someone so small could pack a punch like that.

"You bastard!"

She was pummeling him with her fists. He grabbed her forearms and gave her a shake. She looked up at him with a hatred he could feel even as her eyes blurred with tears.

"The baby was yours!"


	8. Right Between The Eyes

_And you've been waiting all your life_

_To fly high into somebody else_

_And it's true it's a cruel, cruel world_

_Life's a bitch and then you die my love_

_--Right between the eyes (Garbage)_

Logan let go of Veronica's arms like her skin had burned him.

"What!"

But she couldn't speak if she wanted to. Her whole body was heaving with her sobs. She pressed her hands against her eyes and rubbed them furiously. Her reaction alone was almost enough to convince him. He felt his stomach drop to about his knees. A baby…. That was---that was---

But then common sense stabbed him in the gut. And twisted. He backed away from her, shaking his head, a bitter smile on his lips.

"You almost had me," he said, a rage bubbling inside him. "But there's a flaw in your theory."

She angrily wiped the tears off her cheeks.

"What is that?"

"I took Health, Veronica. You actually have to have sex to have a baby!"

She let out a raspy laugh and nodded.

"Yeah, you do."

"Are you saying we had sex?"

She blinked at him and tilted her head.

"Are you saying we didn't?"

_Man she has balls. I'll give her that._

"Veronica, do you think that if we had had sex I would remember it?" He demanded. "I mean, how stupid do you think---"

Then he felt like someone hit him in the stomach.

_"Don't stop."_

He caught his breath. Veronica was looking at him like he was an alien that just crash landed in front of her. He pushed both of his hands through his hair. "Oh my God."

He was getting light headed. He bent over so he wouldn't fall over.

_"I love you Veronica Mars."_

"Logan," Veronica challenged, her voice trembling. "Are you saying we didn't?"

He looked up at her.

"Do you have a water bed?"

She was still looking at him with amazed disbelief on her face when she nodded slowly. Logan slapped a hand over his mouth and he felt tears burning behind his eyes.

_Holyfuckingshit. Holyfuckingshit. Holyfuckingshit. _

Veronica was standing over him, her hands crossed over her chest protectively.

"You don't remember?"

He shook his head. He was going to pass out. He really was.

Veronica let out a strange noise. He looked up at her and she had covered her mouth with her hand. Her shoulders were shaking and she seemed to be laughing and crying at the same time.

"What exactly is it about my sex life that creates a black hole around it?"

She burst into fresh tears and Logan grabbed her and threw his arms around her. She pushed her fists against his chest.

"Don't--" she cried but he only gripped her harder. She buried her face into his chest.

He wasn't sure how long they stood there, he clutching her sobbing, trembling body to him, but his shirt was soaked threw by the time she fell silent. Eventually she eased back away from him and started wiping her face with her sleeves.

"You really don't remember?" She whispered.

He shook his head.

"I--I kept having this fantasy. The entire summer. But that's all I thought it was." He ran his hands over his face. "It was the night my father was arrested?"

"What do you remember about that day?" She sniffed, trying to take a stab at being clinical rather then the emotional mess she had dissolved into.

"I remember the beach. I remember we broke up on the beach and then I went home and got wasted." He shook his head. "After that--I don't know. Bits and pieces of stuff I guess. The first clear thing after that was--your living room."

He started pacing, trying to put it all together.

"I was wondering how I got there and my head was killing me."

"Have you blacked out before?"

"Yeah, once I think." He mumbled, still trying to remember that day. "I saw your laptop on the table and I started reading." Veronica gasped but Logan continued. "You had already written what my dad had done to you the night before. Everything about the tapes, how he killed Lily, how he tried to--" He couldn't say it out loud. "Then I had to get out of there. I felt like the apartment had shrunk and I couldn't breathe any more. So I left and--"

"And never came back," Veronica said quietly.

"I thought you hated me, Veronica. After what he did to you how could you not?"

"Because you're not your father Logan!" She cried in frustration. "If you thought I hated you why did you think you were at my apartment?"

"I don't know. I never really thought about it. I certainly didn't think that we had---" He let the words fall into silence. He shook his fists in frustration. "You weren't there."

"I went to visit my dad and get some breakfast. I didn't think you would be awake for hours."

"And when you came back and I wasn't there?"

"I was worried," she said, rubbing her arms. "After the bridge I thought---"

"The bridge?"

"Weevil found you on the Coronado bridge. On the ledge."

Logan spat out some barely audible curse word.

"I thought," Veronica continued, "that you may have done something stupid. But then I found out you had taken off. Left town without a word and I started to think that maybe you had played me. That you were really still angry about everything I did to you and your father and that was your way of getting back at me."

"My goodbye present," he mumbled. "You said let's talk about your goodbye present. You weren't talking about the beach. You were talking about that night. You thought that night was a big "fuck you" before I left tracks out of town?"

"Both literally and figuratively."

Logan wanted to protest. He wanted to say that he would never do something like that. But he couldn't. It was exactly something he'd do, if he had been angry with her. If he didn't love her.

"So I left because I thought you hated me and you stayed here thinking I hated you?"

She nodded.

"Well isn't that just the stuff of Greek tragedy." He wiped his eyes where a few mutinous tears had actually leaked out. "And a baby." The words made him feel strangely better. He tried to keep his voice light. He didn't want to sound in any way accusatory. "Veronica, I take condoms to church."

"I had almost died that night Logan. I wasn't exactly thinking clearly. And you obviously weren't and your wallet fell off the end table and I--" she trailed off. She sounded lame even to herself. "We were stupid."

Logan nodded. Something was swelling in his chest. A baby. They were seventeen. They were in high school. And yet, he and Veronica made it and there was something hopeful about that.

"How did you find out?" Veronica asked. "About the baby?"

"I followed you to the hospital." He chuckled at the way her eyes got bigger. "Yeah, the great Veronica Mars, trailed by an amateur." He swallowed the lump in his throat. "Can you imagine what kind of parents we are going to make?"

He watched as all the blood drained out of her face.

"Oh Logan….."

He grabbed her because she looked like she was going to faint.

"What?"

Her eyes filled with tears again.

"Logan," she took a deep, shuddering breath. "The blood tests weren't to monitor my pregnancy. They were to monitor my miscarriage."

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Author's note: Hi everyone! Thanks so much for everyone's positive reviews of the last chapter. I'm glad you enjoyed it. But don't worry Veronica & Logan still have some more to talk about.


	9. Metal Heart 2

_But now that we know for sure_

_They're telling lies when they say_

_No one gets hurt and therefore nobody dies_

_--Metal Heart (Garbage)_

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"Miscarriage?"

Veronica bit her lip and nodded.

The word hung between them like a cement balloon.

Logan put his hand over his mouth. He had believed he was going to be a father for about a minute. It was a bad idea to start with. Then why did it feel like someone had cut his legs out from under him?

"How---" he felt the comforting numbness creeping around him again. "How did it happen?"

"They--the doctors--don't know. I didn't even know I was pregnant until I--I started bleeding. When I went to the doctor to find out why they said I was having a miscarriage."

"You're OK?"

She nodded.

"Yeah. I just have to go in for regular blood tests to make sure the gonadotropin levels are dropping. If not then they thought it might be an ectopic pregnancy and they'd have to operate--" He looked up at her, startled. "It's not. The levels are dropping just like they should be. I'm fine."

He stepped away from her, shaking his head.

She felt an odd blend of sadness and euphoria. Her heart felt like it was breaking all over again, watching his devastation. And at the same time there was a strange thrill that he was taking it so hard. That he didn't hate the idea of them having a child together.

"Logan…"

"It's for the best then isn't it?" He said, nodding. "Nature took care of it." His voice broke. "After all, can you imagine what kind of father I'd be? What with Aaron Echolls as my role model?" He let out a sob. "Besides, we're both seventeen. And I'm homeless. The poor kid got off lucky…."

And then the damn burst. Veronica reached out and pulled him into her arms as he started crying like his heart was breaking. His whole body shook so hard she thought he might knock them both over. She felt tears rolling down her cheeks again as she eased them both down to the ground. She eased his head into her lap as he continued to sob. And that's how they remained, with her occasionally wiping off her own cheeks with one hand while running her fingers through his hair with the other.

Eventually the sky started turning slightly pink as the sun threatened to rise and Logan finally ran out of tears. They remained in silence, only hearing the distant crash of waves below them until Logan finally sat up slowly, like every bone in his body ached. He leaned back against his car, too tired for sarcasm, too tired for arguing.

"Do you think it was a boy or a girl?" He asked, his eyes squeezed shut.

She looked down at her hands.

"A girl," she shrugged, trying to be nonchalant. "I don't know why. It would have been impossible to tell that early on but I just had a feeling…."

He nodded. "A girl with your eyes."

"I thought she'd have your eyes, actually. And my hair." Veronica said. "And I'd put it in pig tails."

He opened his eyes and looked at her. She had actually imagined it, he realized. He put his hands out to her and she took them. He eased her into his arms and she burrowed into his chest.

"But can you imagine the massive attitude she would have had?" He said.

Veronica let out a laugh. He chuckled too.

"That's why I called her Lilly," Veronica added quietly.

Logan looked down at her.

"I mean, just in my head. I never actually said it out loud before now." She watched tears form, unshed in his eyes, and he nodded. She laid her head back on his chest.

"That would have been perfect."

"Yeah, perfect."

They watched as the sky turned from pink to orange.

"I'm sorry you had to do this alone," Logan said after a while. "If I'd known…"

"You didn't," she said simply.

"Duncan knows about it doesn't he?"

She pulled away and looked at him.

"No, why would he?"

"He--I got the impression that he knew something I didn't." He said. "I got the impression you and he had picked up where you left off."

_Deny it. Please, please, please deny it._

But she looked down at her hands again and he felt his body start to ache all over again.

"We dated for about a minute after you left but it wasn't the same. Nothing came of it."

Logan's mind started spinning. _Nothing came of it, he tired to kiss me and I bitch slapped him? Nothing came of it, he only got to second base before I came to my senses? Nothing came of it, the sex was meaningless?_

He tried to push the thoughts out of his mind but he could still hear them buzzing in the background.

"I still thinks he knows."

"The only person I told was Wallace," she said. "Maybe Duncan overheard something."

"Wallace." Logan nodded.

_Yeah that makes sense. No wonder he hates my guts. _

"And Mac and Meg five minutes before we saw you in the parking lot."

Logan chuckled and rubbed his jaw. "Yeah, I figured that one out."

Veronica watched him rub his jaw and gasped. She reached out and touched the bruise.

"Meg did that?"

"No," he replied, shifting uncomfortably. "You haven't seen the news today?"

She shook her head.

He looked out over the ocean as if something fascinating had just flown by.

"Well the thing of it is, your dad dropped me off at my dad's house and--"

"Wait, what about my dad?"

"He's the one that brought me back." He watched as she frowned rather ferociously.

"_He_ brought you back. And he didn't tell me?"

"Does he know about--" his voice caught. "Lilly?"

Veronica shook her head.

"If he did he only would have brought back pieces of you. I don't think I need to elaborate on which pieces."

"Well," Logan cleared his throat, "he was not terribly happy with me regardless. Your standard: stay away from my daughter thing. Pretty cliched if you ask me."

"Then why did he bring you back?"

"I guess Duncan paid him to."

Veronica's eyebrows dipped rather attractively in confusion and without thinking Logan reached over and ran his thumb over one.

"So, with a certain amount of rather inappropriate glee I must say, your dad dropped me off at Chez Echolls." He ran his thumbs over her cheeks, all the while avoiding actual eye contact. "And I went inside and had a chat with daddy."

He caught a glimpse of the horror on her face and he busied himself by playing with some loose strands of her hair.

"Your father did this?" She asked, reaching up and touching his cheek. He pulled back and turned to look at the horizon again.

"Welcome home present."

"My God, Logan---"

"No, it's a good thing really." He turned and looked at her stunned expression. "I had him arrested this time."

Veronica's jaw hinged open just a bit.

"Arrested? He's in jail?"

"You really should keep up with current events."

"Why this time," she asked before she could stop herself.

_This time? As if there were others before it? Knew all along did you? Of course you did. _

"He threatened you," he replied.

"What!"

"Oh he never said it directly but he was still pretty clear. If I didn't play along and pretend we were one big happy family, if I didn't testify that Lilly was asking for what happened to her--" His voice trailed off. He cleared it and continued. "You _are_ the only one that can put him in jail. There's no evidence linking him to the murder but he confessed to you about Lilly when he---" He still couldn't bring himself to say the words.

"--locked me in the refrigerator." She nodded. "More or less."

Logan looked her in the eyes.

"I wasn't going to let him hurt you so I had him arrested for child abuse."

She stared back at him. He'd lived with Aaron's abuse his entire life and would rather jump off Coronado bridge then admit it and he had gone public with it. To protect her.

"I figure even if he manages to get away with Lilly's murder he'll do some serious time for what he did to me and for the attempted murder of you and your dad." He tried to smile. "He won't be scamming on any more of my girls when he stumbles out of San Quentin with his walker."

Veronica reached out and touched his cheek.

"I was so wrong," she whispered.

He leaned forward, and nodded.

"Me to."

He leaned in and touched her lips gently with his own. He trailed his tongue carefully over her mouth. She eased her mouth open….

"Logan Echolls!"

Logan leaped back at the sound of the harsh voice. It was then that he saw the flashing red light. He scrambled back and hurried to his feet. There was a police officer standing behind the door of his squad car with his gun aimed at him.

Veronica stood up slowly, shielding her eyes from the light.

"Veronica, get down," Logan said, waving her back. But Veronica squinted at the officer.

"Leo?"

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Author's note: Well the cliffhangers keep on coming! Gotta keep everyone interested. Sorry to those of you who seem to be in physical pain every time I do it. 

Kate--Who called me an "evil cliffhanger wench". I like it! I think I'll change my user name to that!

Julie--thanks for all the personal notes, I appreciate them.

Trite--If the last chapter brought you to tears I hate to think what this one did to you.

Ronhermione13--You're the first one to mention the music. I don't usually preface my stories with music (although there is almost always music in there somewhere), but as I said, this CD kind of inspired the whole thing so I'm glad you like it. For the full effect you should listen to the CD while reading. 

Eternalgorithm--How can you argue? Veronica and Logan would have made a gorgeous baby.

Nina6305--you seem to always be the first one to respond to a new chapter. Sometimes two minutes after it goes up. I regard you with particular affection.

And for all the people who realized Veronica had a miscarriage or at least that something was up when she got tanked thanks for not thinking I was just being irresponsible with our girl.

And to everyone who reviews I must say how immensely satisfying it is to write something and have people like it. Thanks.


	10. 1 Crush

_I would die for you  
I would die for you  
I've been dying just to feel you by my side  
To know that you're mine_

_I will cry for you_

_I will cry for you  
I will wash away your pain with all my tears  
And drown your fear_

_--#1 Crush (Garbage)_

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"Step away from him, Veronica," Leo said, speaking to her but keeping his eyes focused on Logan.

Logan put his hands up to about his shoulders.

"Listen to the nice officer with the gun Veronica," he said.

But Veronica shook her head in disbelief.

"Leo, what are you doing?"

"I got a call to bring him in."

"For what?" Logan demanded.

"Kidnapping."

"What!" Veronica cried.

For the first time Leo cast a look in her direction.

"Were you or were you not forced into a car by Logan Echolls in the parking lot of Rage?"

Logan cursed under his breath and Veronica bit her lip. "Well…."

Leo nodded and looked back at Logan.

"Logan Echolls you have the right…."

"Leo, put the gun down," Veronica said.

"Veronica, you're really starting to make me look bad. The whole tough cop thing doesn't play out if you're standing there scolding me."

Veronica stamped her foot in frustration.

"Leo, did I look like I was in distress when you pulled up?"

He curled his lip in a rather disgusted manner.

"No, you actually looked rather comfortable." He glanced at Logan again and then lowered his gun.

Logan dropped his arms and started striding toward Leo. Veronica put her hand up.

"Let me take care of this."

Logan opened his mouth to protest and then stuffed his hands in his pockets and backed off. Veronica walked up to Leo.

"What is with you and the bad boys, Veronica?" Leo asked.

She smiled and looked over at Logan who was pacing back and forth like a caged tiger.

"He's not bad," she said, looking back at Leo, "just misunderstood."

Leo shook his head.

"It was an official call. I have to take him in."

"Leo, you know what he did this afternoon don't you?"

"Yeah, I know what he did."

"You want to see Aaron Echolls go to prison don't you?"

"Of course I do," he said, reaching out and rubbing her arm. "After what he did to you I want to see him fry."

"If you take Logan in now it could discredit his claim against his father. The prosecution could use it against him." She tilted her head and smiled at him. "Please."

Leo lifted his hand to her face and shook his head.

"You and that smile."

Veronica grinned and tried to ignore seeing Logan stop dead in his tracks out of the corner of her eye.

_Please don't add assault of a police officer to the charges, Logan._

"You've been crying," Leo said with a frown.

Veronica covered his hand with hers and lowered it away from her face.

"A little," she lied.

_More like I'm going to need an IV to replenish all the lost fluids in my body if I shed one more tear. _

"It's been a rough night."

Logan watched Veronica talk to the officer. He couldn't hear what they were saying but he didn't like the way she kept grinning at him. And if he touched her one more time Logan was going to add assault of an officer to his list of crimes.

_What kind of a name is officer Leo anyway?_

Then an image, fuzzy with drunken edges to it, popped up in his head. He was the officer that Veronica was with when he got blasted at Total Eclipse of the Heart. With. As in dancing with. As in dating.

_Assault with a deadly weapon._

He started toward the officer when Veronica stepped away from him and approached Logan as if she could read his mind.

"Logan," she said, a warning clearly in her voice. "Officer D'Amato has agreed to let you walk."

"Really? What exactly did you bribe him with?" He asked, glaring at Leo.

"A quick game of handcuffed hooker in the back seat of his squad car," she replied.

Logan's eyes snapped back to her face so quickly she let out a laugh and shook her head.

"He's going to call in to the station and clear everything up for us under the condition that he drives me home." She smiled at him. "It hardly seems unreasonable considering you're wanted for kidnapping."

Logan kicked at the ground.

"Did he say who turned me in?"

"He said my dad called it in after he got a call from one of my friends who was at the club."

"So Duncan, then."

"Probably."

"I tell you if it isn't one of my best friends having me arrested it's another. I really should consider becoming a hermit."

She smiled at him.

"You're good to get home on your own?"

Logan frowned.

"Well, funny story, I don't currently have a home. I rented the guest room at Wallace's but I think I may have lost my claim on the place when I slashed his tires."

"I'm sorry, you what?"

"I wanted to get to you first," Logan said, averting his eyes. "I suppose I can sleep in my car…."

Veronica rolled her eyes.

"I'll call Wallace and assure him that you will not only buy him new tires but you'll have his car detailed and he'll probably let you stay."

He smiled and leaned his forehead against hers.

"I'd appreciate that. I could really use some sleep."

She grinned and looked down at her feet.

"Then let me give you something to dream about."

She reached up and put her arms around his neck. Her hands climbed into his hair as her mouth closed over his. She pressed her body up against his and his arms went around her waist, lifting her slightly. He let out a groan when she pulled herself up and wrapped her legs around his waist.

Logan's entire body was trembling when she finally pulled away from him.

"Why Miss Mars," he said, trying desperately to keep his voice from shaking. "I think you've scandalized Officer Leo."

Veronica smiled at him.

"I'm sure he's seen worse. He is an officer of the law."

Logan swallowed.

"He's _about _to see worse if you don't get out of here."

She laughed, leaned in and gave him a quick kiss. She disentangled herself from him and turned to go but Logan reached over and grabbed her arm.

"Veronica," he said. "I---" He wanted to tell her he loved her. He wanted to tell her how much it meant to him to have her back in his life. But they were on a turnout on the road and officer Leo was standing a few feet away, rubbing his temples like he had a migraine. It just seemed, like it required something grander.

Veronica tilted her head and smiled.

"Me too."

She walked back toward the police car and Logan felt like breaking into song. He pointed at Leo.

"Now take her straight home, Crockett. No stops at any convenient stores or donut shops."

Leo shook his head and looked at Veronica.

"Do I need to give him a breathalizer?"

Veronica smiled.

"He's not drunk," she assured him. "He's just--" she smiled to herself. "Just Logan."


	11. Why don't you come over?

_All bets are off_

_Fuck you_

_You taste like toxic poison_

_I wash my hands of you_

_--Why don't you come over? (Garbage)_

Logan was toweling his hair off with a t-shirt when he pulled the door open.

"You are beautiful!" He said and leaned forward and planted a sloppy kiss on Duncan's cheek.

Duncan gave him a shove and swung the garment bag in front of him less he try it again. Logan cackled and took the bag from him.

"You're saving my life," Logan said, unzipping the bag and tearing the suit out of it. "Who knew you had to pick these things up? When I lived at home I would have found this puppy laid out on the bed."

He pulled his t-shirt off, careful not to disturb the bandage on his arm, and pulled on the crisp white dress shirt.

"You know the other day I got out of the shower and reached for a towel and I realized I didn't have any. I had to air dry."

Logan kept talking while he pulled on the pants. He was nervous as hell and couldn't stop himself from babbling. It didn't help that Duncan was being sullen. Not that he could blame him.

"So are you ever going back home?" Duncan asked.

"At least not until Trina and I work out our differences."

"So when hell freezes over."

"That's it."

Duncan nodded and glanced around the room. Logan started tying his tie in the silence.

So," he finally said, pretending to concentrate on his tie. "You never told me why you brought me back."

"Veronica was miserable," he said.

Logan smiled and shook his head.

"You always do the right thing?"

"I actually thought she'd dump you."

Logan's fingers froze on the tie.

"You realize you said that out loud don't you?"

Duncan nodded.

"After what you did I thought--"

"I didn't do anything." Logan said, his voice rising. "We had a misunderstanding. If you're going to eavesdrop you really should invest in some spy equipment."

They stared at each other.

"I love her," Duncan said quietly.

"Well so do I," Logan replied and he realized saying it out loud caused a strange lump in his throat. He swallowed hard. "And I don't want to bring up the obvious, but you had your chance and you dumped her."

"I thought she was my sister."

"I'm sorry, you mistook her for Lilly?"

"No, my dad and her mom….you know."

Logan needed a second to connect the dots.

"And I thought my family was dysfunctional." Logan chuckled but he wasn't amused. Far from it. "So I take it she's not your sister after all or you wouldn't be standing here contemplating incest."

Duncan looked down at his feet and his cheeks flushed. Logan realized suddenly that at one point--at Shelly Pomeroy's party--he'd thought that's exactly what he'd done. And the day that Logan had caught Duncan attacking his dad flashed before him. Suddenly everything became crystal clear. And it made him feel sick. The reason he and Veronica broke up no longer existed.

"So what now?" He asked. "You wait in the wings hoping for us to crash and burn?"

"Pretty much."

_OK now I'm pissed._

"You're going to wait a long time," he said.

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Logan still felt sick to his stomach when he pulled up to the county courthouse. He tried to drive through quickly but the paparazzi recognized him and flooded in front of his car. He really wanted to plow through them given the mood he was in but he waited until the police herded them out of the way.

Camera lights still shined in his face as he made his way inside. Questions were shouted at him and he did his best to ignore them. The head prosecutor met him and escorted him in and he could hear the sound of hundreds of camera shutters going off. Logan was the last witness for the prosecution and aside from Veronica, the most anticipated. The celebrity-weary judge was allowing Logan's testimony about his history of physical abuse. It was a decision that left Logan both grateful and sickened.

The prosecutor was going over, for about the sixtieth time, what Logan was going to say but Logan was only half listening. His eyes were roaming the corridor for Veronica. He wasn't sure she would be there given that she'd already given her explosive testimony and he couldn't blame her if she wanted to be as far away from this circus as possible.

They hadn't been able to talk much in the passed few weeks. They'd played a lot of phone tag when she was being prepped for her testimony or he was. He'd also had meetings with lawyers over his situation with Trina, trying to avoid her becoming his legal guardian. Then he'd found the ominous message on his voice mail: "My dad got a bill from the lab about one of my blood tests. It's probably wise if we don't talk for a few days."

He hadn't talked to her at all but he did sit in the courtroom while she testified. He would rather have had nails driven into his eyes then listen to her description of what happened but he wanted to be there for her. And when she was done he had made sure that he stood up and hugged her in full view of the jury. He remembered how precise and confident she had been on the stand and how when he hugged her he could feel her quiver in his arms. She was emotionally drained and he had just wanted to keep holding her but Keith came up, smiling for the jury but with undisguised fury in his eyes, and whisked her away.

Logan had no doubt Keith Mars knew exactly what the blood tests were for and that the only reason Logan hadn't woken up with a shot gun to his head was because he was going to be the final nail in Aaron Echolls coffin.

Logan sat down in the gallery and tried his best not to throw up in his lap. It was a new suit after all. He contemplated putting his head between his knees but so he didn't look like a total idiot he settled for leaning forward a little.

"Are you going to be sick or are you just happy to see me?"

Logan looked up and Veronica was smiling down at him. She crossed in front of him and sat down next to him. He was about to speak when Meg followed Veronica into the row. She smiled and gave him what looked like an apologetic little wave. Mac came up behind her and gave him a thumbs up. Wallace was next and gave him a nod. Finally Duncan walked silently by, but sat down at the end of the row nonetheless.

Logan was speechless. Everyone of them had been there for Veronica's testimony but he couldn't imagine why they'd be there today.

"What's going on?" He asked.

"You didn't think we'd let you do this alone did you?"

He didn't know what to say. They were her friends but she had rallied them to be there for him as well. Veronica slipped her hand into his and he felt his nausea subside.

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"So Mr. Echolls, did your father, Mr. Aaron Echolls, ever hit you?"

Logan felt his stomach clench. They had asked him all the routine questions about his relationship with Lilly, and he knew this one was coming but it still felt like a slap.

"Mr. Aaron Echolls did, yes."

He stared straight ahead, not looking at his father at all. He wasn't sure if the sight of him would make him angry or sad.

"Now would you describe this as ordinary parental discipline?"

"Only if you consider a black eye, two broken ribs, lacerations to my back, a bloody nose, and several trips to the emergency room as ordinary parental discipline."

The prosecutor frowned slightly. Logan has gone off script.

"How long would you say this abuse went on?"

There was an objection to the word "abuse" from his father's lawyer and the prosecutor reworded the question. It felt like it added an hour to his sitting in the spotlight.

"For as long as I can remember," he replied, his throat dry.

He could see an artist sketching his picture.

"Your father is a very famous man, Mr. Echolls, why is there no record of his actions until now?"

"Because my father is a very famous man." Logan replied. "The emergency room doctor who took care of my ribs asked my dad for his autograph before discharging me."

"But there is documentation of the latest incident…"

Logan watched as the prosecutor walked over to the screen set up in the corner. He looked down at his shoes. He heard several gasps and knew the picture of Logan's jaw or the fingerprints on his arms or the bruise on his back were up on the screen. He didn't want to look. He'd been there already, after all.

He looked over the faces in the courtroom. The Kane's were there, looking horrified right on que. Trina was sitting, shaking her head. Duncan was rubbing the bridge of his nose. Then he finally allowed himself to look at Veronica. For all the world he wished she wasn't there. Wasn't listening to what he had been so ashamed of his entire life.

She wasn't looking at the pictures. She was looking at him. There were tears in her eyes but she wasn't letting them fall. She smiled reassuringly at him and he felt himself smile back. For all the world he was so glad she was there.

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When Logan finally stepped off the stand he felt like all of his bones had been replaced with jelly. His ankle actually twisted a little when he stepped down. It had felt like he'd been testifying for weeks. Veronica was there to meet him like he had been for her. She hugged him fiercely and he felt limp in her arms. All of her friends were gathered behind her. His friends now too, he guessed.

"So would it be inappropriate to go out and celebrate?" Wallace asked.

Everyone looked at Logan. He smiled.

"Let's party like it's 1999."

He offered his hand to Veronica and she laced her fingers into his. He had already won, he decided.

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Author's note: OK, this chapter was mainly cleaning up some loose ends. Sorry it was not too exciting. The next chapter will be the conclusion and it's called 'Sex is not the enemy' if that's any indication.


	12. Sex is not the enemy

_True love is like gold_

_There's not enough to go around_

_But then there's God and doesn't God love everyone?_

_Give me a choice_

_Give me a chance to turn the key and find my voice_

_Sex is not the enemy_

_--Sex is not the enemy (Garbage)_

"Are you ever going to move?" Veronica asked as she and Logan came up to the door of the guesthouse behind the Fennell house.

He turned and raised an eyebrow.

"Are you ashamed of my humble dwelling Miss Mars?" He asked.

"No," she said and she tipped her head toward the front house. "I'm just wondering about the wisdom of living behind my dad's girlfriend."

Logan draped his arms over her shoulders.

"He's OK with us now isn't he?"

"If you mean is he now resisting the urge to castrate you, then yes, he is definitely OK with us."

Logan chuckled. "Well I thank you, and the many women in my little black book give you their thanks too."

She gave him a playful slug and laughing he pulled her into a kiss. Strangely, she noticed he was trembling ever so slightly. She wondered if, despite his outward behavior, he was still dealing with the day's outcome. After all, his father had been convicted of murder just a few hours earlier.

"What did you say to him?" Logan asked, reaching into his pocket for his keys. He pulled them out and they slipped out of his hand and hit the ground. He hoped she didn't notice that his hands were shaking.

_What the hell is wrong with me?_

"I just reasoned with him," she said, wondering what Logan seemed so nervous about. "And played on the guilt he feels for leaving you with Aaron that night."

Logan finally got the door open and he stepped aside so she could go in. She stepped inside and caught her breath.

On every surface of the room there was a flickering candle or a vase of flowers. There was a champagne bottle in ice sitting beside the bed and faint music playing. Open mouthed, she turned and looked at Logan.

He was fiddling with his keys.

"Listen, I thought I would surprise you but if you're not cool with this that's fine. No pressure. We can go see a movie or some---"

She put her arms around his neck and kissed him until he was breathless.

"I'm cool with this," she whispered.

"Then maybe I should shut the door," he said. He grinned. "Wouldn't want to give the Fennell's a show."

Of course, he knew there was no chance of that. Keith and Alicia were out for the evening and he'd paid Wallace to take him and his brother out for the evening. Wallace only agreed after Logan promised not to tell him why he wanted him gone.

He closed the door and Veronica heard the door lock click into place. She swallowed and suddenly realized why Logan had seemed so nervous.

He pulled off his jacket and she smiled nervously at him and then walked over to some of the flowers, pretending to admire them.

Logan watched her wander around the room, looking at the various flowers. He didn't know what was her favorite so he'd gotten a dozen of every kind he came across. He started working on taking off the tie he'd worn to court. His fingers were trembling.

_What the hell? It's not my first time. It's not even my first time with her._

Veronica sat down on the end of the bed and crossed her legs primly. She wasn't sure what to do with herself. Her throat was dry so she reached over and pulled the champagne bottle out of the ice. She glanced at the label and grinned.

Pulling his tie off Logan walked over to her and she smiled up at him.

"Sparkling cider?"

"I didn't want us to have any reason to forget," he said.

She set the bottle down and reached up and pulled him toward her. Their lips met hungrily as she pulled him down onto the bed. She worked hastily at the buttons of his shirt while his hands slipped under her top. She felt his thumbs making small circles on her stomach and her mind went blank. She was barely aware of pushing his shirt off until he cringed.

"What?" She asked, shaking off the haze of lust fogging her brain.

"Sorry," he said, and he carefully pulled off his shirt and that's when she noticed the gauze patch taped to his upper arm. "I probably should have mentioned this before."

"Is that a tattoo?" She asked in disbelief.

He nodded. Veronica sat up and watched him gingerly pick at the tape.

"If that's a heart with my name on it I'll pay for the laser removal." And she meant it. She wasn't opposed to tattoos as a rule but something about one marring Logan's body didn't sit well with her.

He smiled but didn't look at her. "Not exactly."

He finally pulled the bandage off and she got a look at it. It was a small picture of two lilies crossed over each other like an X, both delicate and drooping slightly.

"Oh my God," she whispered, touching it carefully with her fingertips. "It's beautiful."

Logan glanced at it. "We just never had a funeral or anything for our Lilly and now that the trial is over Lilly Kane is officially gone from our lives. I just thought I needed something permanent to remember them both by."

She touched his face and kissed him gently.

"You're amazing."

They were kneeling in front of each other on the bed. He reached around her, slipped his hands into the waistband of her pants and nudged her closer.

"Glad you like it," he said, kissing her cheek. "Because it will be the only one I ever get." He kissed her other cheek and then looked her in the eyes. "Because it hurt like a mother."

She laughed and he leaned down and started kissing her neck. She started running her hands over his bare chest while enjoying the tremors his exploring hands were causing her. She lowered her hands to his belt but his hands left her and covered her hands.

"Veronica," he said. She pulled back and looked at him curiously. "I know I'm going to hate myself for bringing this up…"

"Then don't," she said stubbornly, but he forged ahead anyway.

"I swear that it won't make a difference between us but it's been driving me nuts." He laced his fingers with hers. "When you and Duncan got back together when I was gone did---" his voice caught and he cleared his throat. _Why are you doing this and why are you doing this now! "_Did the two of you…."

He finally looked her in the eyes. He expected her to be frowning at him. He half expected her to slap him. After all, her sexual history wasn't any of his business _and_ he had dumped her and left. But he simply had to know. In the flickering candlelight it wasn't anger he saw in her eyes. Surprisingly, it was amusement.

"Are you asking me to kiss and tell Logan?" She asked.

He let out the breath he'd been holding.

"Only if kissing was all you did."

She shook his hands away from hers and started unbuckling his belt again.

"Duncan and I went on two dates while you were gone." She carefully slid the belt out of the loops of his pants and watched him shutter from the intimacy of the gesture. "Do you think I'm that easy?"

He reached forward and carefully undid the top button on her shirt. His hands were still trembling.

"Well, if you think about it," he undid the next button, "this is technically our first date."

She stopped and her jaw dropped.

"You're right," she said with wonder in her voice. "I _really_ am a slut."

He laughed and tackled her back onto the pillows. He kissed her neck as he carefully went back to work on her buttons.

"Logan," she said breathlessly. "One more thing…"

"Way ahead of you," he said and he leaned over and pulled open the nightstand drawer. He pulled out a box of Trojans and set them on top.

Veronica let out a horrified laugh.

"Exactly how many of those do you plan on using?" She asked.

He started working on the last button of her shirt.

"Just wanted to be on the safe side…" he mumbled as her shirt fell open. He caught his breath. "God I wish I remembered the first time…"

"What do you remember?" She whispered huskily.

"I remember you liked this…." He ran his fingers over the lace of her bra and she caught her breath. "And I remember one other thing." He leaned in and kissed her, and his hand slipped under the lace, his heart hammering in his chest. "There wasn't nearly as much talking."

She seemed to agree as she put her arms around him. After that there wasn't any talking at all.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

There was one other thing that Logan did remember. The bliss. As he lay in the fading candlelight with Veronica snuggled against him he remembered the complete and utter contentment he had felt the first time. He couldn't imagine anything better.

He was wrong.

Veronica rolled over and smiled at him. She put her hand on the side of his face.

"I love you Logan Echolls," she said quietly. Then she grinned mischievously. "And don't you ever forget it."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Author's note: Well there it is. I'm kind of sad seeing it done. I hope it lived up to everyone's expectations. It kind of snowballed from my initial idea. It was supposed to be just a look at them reconnecting after believing the worst about each other. My original plan didn't involve the confrontation between Logan and Aaron or, get this, the miscarriage. It just sort of sprang to life on it's own. I did get to work in almost all of the songs from the Bleed Like Me CD but I did have to cheat twice--I used Metal Heart twice and #1 Crush is actually from the Romeo & Juliet soundtrack. Strangely, I never used Bad Boyfriend but that's OK I guess because it was used spectacularly in Leave it to Beaver as Logan dangled from the Coronado Bridge.

I have another idea rolling around in my head involving Troy coming back to town and Logan's jealousy issues but it's not fully formed yet so I don't know if it'll happen any time soon.

Thanks again for everyone that reviewed my little story. It really got me excited about continuing it. I appreciated all of them, even when my flawed interpretation of the legal system was pointed out. :) Til next time…..


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